Hello blog world! I’m back from a very long hiatus from writing on this blog. To be honest, I allowed my perfectionism to prevent me from blogging because I never felt like I could get the words out in just the right manner or feared I didn’t have anything meaningful or fun to share that was blog-worthy.
It’s the constant battle of perfectionism v. authenticity.
That was even the topic of conversation on a phone date this afternoon with my best friend Ansley. We were talking about how we both long for our homes to be safe havens for people to come and share life with us where they can be comfortable and vulnerable and not afraid to share the raw and real of life. I want to offer words that breathe life into people and refreshment. Ansley shared how what she admired most in other women was the ability to allow others into the mess of life; toys strewn throughout the house, laundry piles, meals thrown together. Women who weren’t constantly apologizing for the state of their homes but just welcomed you into their chaos and said “Pull up a chair, would you like a corndog?” It was the willingness to let someone see their kids misbehave and have to be disciplined or the fact that their house didn’t look like a spread from the current month’s issue of Southern Living. It lets you breathe and just relax and be yourself without any need for putting on a mask of perfection.
Yet we both agreed and confessed that although we long for that atmosphere in our homes we both fall prey to the lie that we need to project perfection when others come over. The struggle of having all the toys put away in their perfect storage spot and the house clean and spotless. The struggle of thinking if you invite people over for a meal it better be a spread like one from Food Network or Martha Stewart. And don’t even mention that our kids act up and misbehave in front of others and humiliate us. People might think we have no control or failed in training our children properly. So we chase what we think people expect and all the while we know in our hearts that this is the furthest thing from being authentic. What happened to that experience we loved earlier of being welcomed to the chaos and having room to breathe. So we issued a challenge to each other to let go and release our perfectionist’s ways and embrace our reality, our authentic life and invite others to join us there. Yes kids are going to misbehave. Yes our houses are going to be overtaken with legos and puzzles. Yes we eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. But come join us in this craziness. Pull up a chair and share life with us. Feel the freedom to be yourself and we’ll be ourselves and let’s encourage each other where we are at in life.
