In the Kitchen

   I love to cook.  I love reading food magazines and watching cooking shows.  It really is a way that I love on my family and friends and open up our home to love on others.  I especially love trying new recipes and man did I find a keeper the other day.  I knew I had to share it on the blog.  

Pecan-Crusted Pork with Orange-Maple Glaze
From Better Homes & Gardens


ingredients    1 pork tenderloin (about 1 1/2 lb.)    1/2 tsp salt    1/4 tsp ground black pepper    4 tbsp pure maple syrup    1 cup pecans, finely chopped    2 tbsp vegetable oil    1/2 cup orange juice    1/4 tsp ground cumin    1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
directions    1.  Trim pork, then cut in 1/2-inch slices.  Season with salt & pepper.

    

    2.  Place 3 tbsp syrup in dish; place pecans in second dish.  In 12-inch skillet heat oil over medium heat.  Coat pork in syrup, then press in pecans.  Place pork in skillet in single layer; top with remaining pecans and syrup (I had no remaining) from dish.  Cook 5 minutes each side, until pork is no longer pink.  Remove from skillet.  Remove pecans from skillet.

   

   3.  Combine orange juice, remaining 1 tbsp syrup, cumin and cayenne and pour into skillet.  Cook, uncovered, 1-2 minutes until slightly thickened.  Pour over pork.

I served it with roasted green beans and roasted sweet potatoes.  It was delish!   Do yourself a favor and make this tonight! So yum!

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What I'm Listening To

Music is a big part of how I process life.  I love lots of different genres of music.  I thought it would be fun to include on the blog what I'm currently listening to at home, in the car, while I work out, etc.  I knew the first album I had to include would be "Babel" by Mumford & Sons.

My favorite track from the album is "Not With Haste."

Not With Haste

Your eyes they tie

Me down so hard

I'll never learn to put up a guard

So keep my love

My candle bright

Learn me hard, oh learn me right

This ain't no sham

I am what I am

Though I may speak

Some tongue of old

Or even spit out some holy word

I have no strength

From which to speak

When you sit me down, and see I'm weak

We will run and scream

You will dance with me

They'll fulfill our dreams

And we'll be free

And we will be who we are

And they'll heal our scars

Sadness will be far away

So as we walked

Of fields of green

As the fiarest sun I'd ever seen

And I was broke

I was on my knees

But you said yes as I said please

This ain't no sham

I am what I am

I leave no ties

For a cynics mind

We will run and scream

You will dance with me

They'll fulfill our dreams

And we'll be free

And we will be who we are

And they'll heal our scars

Sadness will be far away

Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste

As it keeps my heart and soul in it's place

And I will love with urgency but not with haste

Here they are performing it at the iTunes Festival.  

Enjoy!  I'd love to know what you're listening to!

My Truth

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I have struggled so much in the past with blogging.  I mean I love reading others' blogs.  It's how I start my day pretty much every day along with a cup of steaming coffee.

So why do I struggle so much with expressing my own voice in my blog and knowing what to write about?  

That's been the big question.

I used to think it was because I'm a perfectionist and would stress over tiny details and get overwhelmed and just throw in the towel before hitting publish.

But lately I've been wrestling with a deeper truth that has been emerging from within.  I've always thought that I was an open, transparent person.  Someone who desires to get below the surface and share my heart rather than discuss superficial subjects.  But lately I've begun to question that about myself.  If I was truly transparent then why are there topics that I avoid approaching here in this space? The big fat ugly truth is that I'm scared of what other's will think.

I'm terrified of what people would think of me if I was really raw and laid bare here in this blogosphere.

Would they judge me?

Would they run from me?

Would they pity me?

Would what I share just be too much for people?

All of these fears have hindered me from really making this blog of mine my own.

The crazy truth is that what draws me into other blogs and pushes me to add them to my reading list are the voices of others who are willing to humble themselves and enter into the hard places of their lives and share honestly about their struggles.  Those are the blogs that offer me hope.  Those are the blogs that allow me the space to breathe here in my own life.  They free me up to know that someone else is out there thinking and feeling the same things I do.

But I would've never had that encouragement if they too had allowed their fears to hold them back from sharing.

One of my favorite authors & bloggers is Ann Voskamp.  She addressed all of this on her blog recently saying,

"The lines of our stories become literal life-lines that we throw to each other when the storms come and beat hard on our lives."

She talked about how we need each other's messy stories. Our messy stories can serve as the healing salve that our wounded hearts desperately need. And not just the reader's wounded heart but also for the writer's wounded heart. It is a healing salve for us both.

My mess has kept me from this blog because I haven't known how to share it in a way that sounds pretty and lighthearted. For some reason I had the misconception that that's what people want when they read, stories that are lighthearted and easy to read. But honestly that's not why I read blogs. I read them to connect with others' struggles. I read them for hope that I am not alone on my weary days.

So I'm back. I'm here to share my truth and to face my fears and to offer myself to you. I'm here to write my story. I'm here to finally be honest and real. I hope that as I fight to find the words to express my heart that in some way I might offer life-lines to all of you.